


Can't live with the guilt

by ashped15



Category: Full House (US)
Genre: But he still feels guilty, Depression, F/M, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jesse feels guilty about Pam's death even though there is no way it could have been his fault, Other, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:54:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29714721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashped15/pseuds/ashped15
Summary: Jesse Katsoplois is depressed. It had been five years to the day since Pamela Katsopolis-Tanner had been killed. Jesse was really feeling it today, as he trys not to think about it normaly, he thinks it will make things easier, and he cant keep it bottled up anymore. He has a mental breakdown which does not end well. He always trys to be strong for the girls, after all she was their mum and only his siter, and never shows how much it truly affects him, but with it being five years he cant take it anymore. He feels guilty and wants to make things right…
Relationships: Becky Donaldson Katsopolis/Jesse Katsopolis, Jesse Katsopolis & Pam Katsopolis-Tanner, Pam Katsopolis-Tanner/Danny Tanner
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	1. Anniversary

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first full house fic so I dont know if it is any good. I love Jesse (he is my fav character) and I want to write a fic where he is happy, but for some reason, the only ideas i have at the moment are ones where he is the complete opposite of happy. So, I guess, enjoy XD

It had been five years to the day since Pamela Katsopolis-Tanner had been killed. Jesse was really feeling it today. Pam was his big sister, she’s the one who taught hjim everything hew needed to know about life, she had given him three beautiful nieces, she had given him so much love over the years, until she got married to Daniel (Danny) Tanner. Since she got married, they hadn’t seen alot of eachother. He hadn’t bothered to try to stay in touch and now she’s dead and he lost the person who he loved the most, the person who cared about him. Gone. And he knows it’s not all his fault. He knows that she could have just as easily kept in touch with him, but she didnt. He hated this one day of the year with all his heart. He couldnt believe that it had already been five years. It still felt like only yesterday he got the news of his big sis’s death. He didnt know what he was supposed to do with himself now. I mean, he has a wife, and twins. He had done great for himself, but he feels really guilty because this all only happened because Pam died, he moved in with Danny and that's how he met Becky. If pam was still alive, he wouldnt have any of this. He would much rather be with Pamela than have any of the stuff he had. He couldnt take it anymore...


	2. Stupid ideas...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse thinks he knows how he feels, and thinks he knows how to fix that. But does he really?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a few ideas for this one so I hope you enjoy XD

Jesse had decided what to do. He knew he couldn't take it. He thought it was all his fault. But what he wanted more than anything in the world, was to be reunited with his big sister after all this time. He knew what he needed to do. He needed to die. He thought he would regret it, I mean he has a wife and kids, but he couldn't stand it. For a while Jesse had had problems, he had self harmed quite alot recently, but he had never been to bad. But now he wanted to die. He sat on his bed and started slicing his wrists. He forgot that DJ was still at home, so he kept going. She was in her bedroom just chillin. Jesse sliced at his wrists with purpose, he cut so deep. He eventually cut too deep and blood poured out of him like a waterfall. He down and into the bathroom where he proceeded to lock the door. Deej heard him and shouted to him to check everything was cool, but it really wasn't. He was scared  
"Uncle Jesse? Uncle Jesse, is everything alright?"   
When she got no response from her uncle, she decided to go and investigate it herself. Ad soon as she stepped out her bedroom, she saw a trail of blood leading from the bathroom towards Uncle Jesse's room. She banged on the door and still got no response. Then she decided to call her dad.   
"Deej, what's up? I'm busy. Where's Unc..." Danny was cut off by his very nervous sounding daughter.   
"I think Uncle Jesse is hurt. I heard him run into the bathroom and lock the door, and when I came out to check if everything was ok, I saw a trail of blood, from the bathroom to his room. I'm scared dad." DJ said.   
"Hey, hey. It's gonna be alright. Have you shouted him again? Ok, try that. Ok, no response. Have you phoned an ambulance yet? Ok, well hang up and phone an ambulance and we will come home straight away." Danny said to DJ as he hung up the phone, and came home. He was asked alot of questions on the way.  
"911, whats the emergency?" the other person said.   
"Erm hi, my name is DJ Tanner, I think my Uncle Jesse is hurt. Please help him." She panicked and answered.  
"Ok, calm down. Can you tell me what happened and where you live?" the other person said very calmly.   
She explained and told them where she lived and waited. Danny and the others got home first. He ran straight upstairs to DJ and the bathroom, and kicked the door in. What they found was terrifing. Uncle Jesse lying in the bathtub, in his own blood, presumably dying. It scared DJ and she ran out. She was greeted by a scared family. Becky, Joey, Steph, Michelle, Alex, and Nicky all waited to be greeted by one of them. Danny never tleft the bathroom until he had to. Becky and Jiey went in to see what was happening and Becky broke down and started screaming, which scared the others quite alot. She was obviously hysterical.   
"NO! JESS! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?! MY JESSE!"   
Michelle, Steph, Nicky and Alex all pushed past only to find a horror scene in front of there eyes. They cried.  
"Daddy? What's happened to daddy?" Alex cried.   
"Erm, guys come with me please. Daddy will be fine." DJ dealt with the twins, whilst Danny dealt with the girls. He explained some things, as best he could. Becky was still having a breakdown, whilst Joey supported her. Then the ambulance came and took him. Danny and DJ went in the ambulance, the others followed in the car. It was an emotional ride there.   
Was Jesse going to be alright...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ngl, I found writing that super easy. I hope yall enjoy XD

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you like this chapter, it took me a while because I kept spelling everything wrong and had to correct, even though I bet it's all bassicaly wrong, lmao. Let me know what you think and any comments or kudos are appreciated. I know it's real short, but the next chapter will (hopefully) be longer. Thanks for reading XD


End file.
